Using a farmer with two cows is is a popular way to explain complex economic systems. Quite fitting to review these in light of the current worldwide economic crisis that seems to be hitting Iceland the worst.
I suggest you take the time to seriously study these.
21 Economic Models … explained with cows
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
VENTURE CAPITALISM – AN ICELANDIC CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive
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I imagine this post will be emailed round the world in about 10 minutes.
Communism could equally read:
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State starves you to death so your cows can be collectivized.
The cows die too.
Don’t forget that every economic theory ASSUMES you have two cows.
REPUBLICANS
You have two cows
You moan about wanting tax cuts instead
SPANISH
You have two cows,
you imagine it’s a bull, then bullfighting it.
you kill one cow, and eat it.
repeat with the other cow.
You call in Europe in spanglish to continue bullfighting more cows.
Bernard Madoff style:
You think you have two cows.
Statements come in monthly, with pictures of the cows,their names, estimates of milk production and revenues.
You ask for milk – they send you milk.
Every year you get reports of more cows.
One day, you learn something.
Holy Cow, there are no cows.
Yeah – definitely a great way to illustrate the way things work
US Legislative
You have two cows but you budgeted for three cows.
So you use the cow you saved in the budget to back a bond measure for the third.
Utopia
where we all have two cows
You have one cow worth $100.
You want to purchase one more cow for $100. A bank lends you $80 with the cow as collateral. The prices of cows increase to 200. An agent for a bank offers you $180 loan if you purchase and offer the third cow as collateral. The prices increase again to $400. An agent of a bank offers you a loan of $320 additional loan on your second cow on which you have borrowed only $80 earlier. Prices of cows again rise to $600. Now agents offer you loans exceeding the value of the cows. You borrow, buy more and are happy.
Price of cows fall to S50.
You are broke and lose your cows.
The government steps in and bails out the banks.
That is realism.
You have 2 cows,
They are providing you with all you need,
You still go and try to get more cows,
You make life hell but you want more cows,
this is ‘Human Nature’, never content with what you have.
A Zen Buddhist corporation
You have two cows.
Mu.
A Zimbabwian Corporation
You have many cows, some are low yield black cows the others are high yeild white. You herd all the white cows out and feed all the black cows shit. You think the amswer is making rat milk.
ETHIOPIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
That’s all you have.
Everyone starves anyway.
Or dies of aids.
NATIVE AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows granted to your tribe by the government. You can’t have them due to reservation policy. You decide to get drunk and pass out under a bridge.
I especially like surrealism lesson.